You Don't Get Used to Loss/For Kim

It's been a hard six months. In December of 2019, as you may recall, Samii and I lost our pregnancy. In March we all found ourselves at the mercy of COVID-19. In late-April Samii's Dad, Matt, passed after a multi-year battle with cancer. Yesterday Kim, Samii's Mom, suffered a sudden massive heart attack and died. There was no warning beyond how she had been having an upset stomach, suddenly felt very ill, and then was basically gone before anything could be done. It still feels implausible and unreal she is gone. We've had so much happen in such a short period of time, now this?

Kim was a great lady, and I loved her. Usually, stereotypes of men and their mother's in law are that the MIL is some annoying battleaxe the guy can't stand, but Kim was the opposite. She was very chill, quite funny, intuitive, and a wonderful Grandmother to Clarkson for the short time she was able to be here and enjoy him. When someone dies without warning you're just left confused, shocked, and you feel a weird mixture of dizzy and nauseated trying to wrap your head around what's happened. You don't get used to loss, whether it is your baby you weren't able to have or a parent/parent-in-law, friend, etc. I will miss Kim deeply.