What a COVID-19 Test Feels Like

I have hernia surgery coming-up on August 10th, as I posted about. As a part of getting surgery, you have to get a COVID-19 test a number of days before the procedure. After that, you essentially quarantine yourself so that once a (hopefully) negative test result comes back you stay negative and then get surgery a few days later. Well, I just recently got my COVID-19 test and thought I'd share what it feels like for those curious.

It began with me driving-up to a special spot in the hospital's parking garage like the World's least pleasurable drive-through where you get poked in the nose instead of a bag of french fries. After I checked-in a nurse came out with a huge swab and explained it goes up my nose for 5-7 seconds. I was told my nose might run and I may cough. I tilted my head back and got as mentally ready as I could. She proceeded to stick that thing up my right nostril and I could swear I felt her poking my brain. It didn't hurt, but it was extremely uncomfortable feeling all that pressure. It didn't trigger my gag reflex as it was up higher in the back of my throat, but I did start getting watery eyes and coughing a little bit. She took the swab out and I was happy it was done. Then she said it was now going to go in my other nostril. Yeah.

This is not an exaggeration, it is exactly what it felt like.

The swab went in my other nostril and this time I really started coughing and my eyes were watering as if I were watching my go-to movie to cry, "A Little Princess." After what felt like an eternity she pulled the swab out and I began rubbing my eyes and wiping my nose for dear life. It was explained if they don't call me that means the result was negative and I'll be good to go for my surgery on Monday the 10th. As I haven't heard from the hospital and am always careful when in public (wear a mask, people), I'm going to guess my results were negative and I get the pleasure of having hernia surgery this Monday. In the meantime, I have a good story about how I got my nose thoroughly swabbed in a parking garage by a stranger--but unlike that one time in college, this was for science!